My name is Simon, I’m 44 and I’m not well.

My name is Simon, I’m 44, and I’m not well.

By that I mean I have been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety.

In 2018 I was initially diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my role within the emergency services in London, but I was adamant that I didn’t want to be medicated. I was determined that with therapy and by looking after myself properly, eating right, exercising, cutting my alcohol consumption, that I could deal with this, and for a while that was enough, but slowly things started to unravel.

I started to feel less and less capable of coping, I hadn’t slept properly for more than four hours in about a year, continuing to push myself at work, but finally my body and mind had had enough.

The actor Jim Carey puts it best for me, “it’s not about being depressed, it’s your body needing Deep Rest”, (I am slightly paraphrasing JC here).

I mean, I was depressed, I didn’t want to go on, I spent a lot of time crying, but I was also in need of some deep rest.

At the beginning of March 2019 I finally reached breaking point. I was unable to cope with anything and I was barely looking after myself. I went to my doctors and just broke down.

My GP, an amazing lady by the name of Dr Findley, prescribed me Mirtazapine and that first night I slept straight for 12 hours.

For the first few weeks I felt like I was walking around with an invisible duvet over me, dulling sight and sound and weighing me down.

Slowly my body got used to my medication and I began to be able to function better.

It took me six months to get to a place where I could consider going back to work, I took the time I needed, (along with some great therapy on the NHS, Dr La Roux you rock!), but eventually I was ready to go back to work.

I have now been back at work as long as I was off, I’ve had a few ups and downs, but I’m slowly starting to put me first, or at least trying to.

Am I the same man, yes and very much no.

I’m more self aware, thoughtful, less angry, I don’t always get it right, but I think I am better at realising when I am wrong and looking to learn from it.

Why am I starting to write again? you know what, I’m not completely sure.

I’m just a normal human being that has had to deal with a whole heap of rubbish. I’m not special, I’m not unique, I’m not a so called celeb trying to share their tortured story of redemption, I’m just someone who is going to try and share the details of his story, not with a view of saying “This is what you must do” , because everyone is different, but in the hope that if you are where I was or where I am it will help to show you’re not alone and that slowly but surely it will get better.

The following links are available should you feel in crisis (this list is not exhaustive but maybe somewhere to start) – remember, you’re not alone.

Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org

Mind – https://www.mind.org.uk/

Papyrus – ttps://papyrus-uk.org

CALM – https://www.thecalmzone.net

GUILT. And how it messes with my head.

Last week I talked about suicide and how it has touched my life and how I have even contemplated it.

This week I want to talk about guilt and how it’s one of the biggest things that currently undermines my mental health.

We all have things that we feel guilty about.

Eating too much ice cream, having that extra drink after work, not keeping in touch with family and friends.

Mostly it’s fleeting and with a quick phone call or bit of extra exercise we can eradicate those feelings.

When you’re mentally unwell these things can spiral out of control until they are bigger than Everest and even harder to conquer.

I carry so much guilt I should probably be Catholic.

I feel guilty about the break up of my marriage; that I should have seen the signs, that I should have fought harder, that I shouldn’t have moved out.

I feel guilty about the death of my Dad; I should have seen him more, I should have called more often, I shouldn’t have gone to bed so early when they left for their holiday and missed the opportunity to speak to him.

I feel guilty about my PTSD; I shouldn’t have taken on so much to try and protect others, I shouldn’t have been so weak, I should have asked for help, I shouldn’t have given in and walked away from my team and unfinished work.

Whilst you may read all these and think that they are all silly things, (and in my moments of lucidity you would be right), these are all things that give me nightmares and that cause me pain, anxiety and depression.

I can rationalise all of the above;

I couldn’t help that my wife fell out of love with me, I couldn’t prevent my Dad dying suddenly, I did what I thought was right at work and couldn’t have foreseen it would make me so ill.

But, being mentally unwell means that normal cognitive function doesn’t work correctly and the smallest of problems or challenges can grow and become insurmountable, can cause extreme stresses, induce anxiety attacks and make depressive episodes worse.

It’s often said that the worse thing you can say to someone with depression is to “pull yourself together”. A lot of the time they are “together” it’s just in the eye of the storm they cannot rationalise things out and this can manifest in many ways: tears, aggressive outbursts, withdrawal, lethargy, to name just a few.

For me my guilt often manifests in most of these ways.

If I am in a guilt spiral I will probably not have slept very well having spent most of the night ruminating on the “what ifs”, I will be be catastrophising and be expecting terrible things to happen to me or others because of something I did or didn’t do.

All of this then exacerbates any depression and anxiety I may have and the cycle just continues.

Throw into all of that the flashbacks I get from my PTSD and you have one screwed up brain.

Learning to understand that only I can control how I feel, (I talked about the locus of control before), and that other people don’t control me, that at best or worst, they only influence me, is difficult, but key to my getting better.

Another huge element is joining the heart and the head, not allowing one or the other to be too strongly in control, but to allow a more symbiotic relationship to flourish, (I KNOW that my Dad dying wasn’t my fault, but I FEEL guilty about not being there), these are some of my hardest lessons to learn.

I know that this won’t be an easy journey, nor will it be a quick fix.

But.

I want to get better and that’s an important thing.

I want to find me.

I want to return to my version of normality.

To be continued….

When the pain gets too much…

According to the Health and Safety Executives Labour Force Survey, on average 191,000 men a year report stress, depression or anxiety caused or made worse by work. The peak age group is 45-54. In 2015, 75% of all suicides in the UK were male and it’s the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the UK.

This is a shocking stat, but something I can relate to.

In my life I have been touched by suicide.

The woman responsible for me applying to the police hanged herself, a friend and colleague took his own life when his alcoholism and depression became too much and one of my biggest food blogging influences took his life by falling from a roof.

All people I knew to varying degrees, but all affected me.

When news of Anthony Bourdain’s apparent suicide came through I was beside myself.

A food anti-hero, chef, writer, traveller, someone who many held up as an inspiration, successful in business and life, but not without his own demons, and ultimately he saw no other way out other than to take his own life.

In my life I’ve had many conversations with people about suicide and one of the common things I hear is that it’s “Selfish”, people questioning how they could do that to themselves, to their family and friends, but that’s probably farther from the truth than could possibly be imagined.

Whilst it leaves those left behind with many questions, “Why?”, “What could I have done?”, “I should have done something!”, I feel that it is probably the only way out for some.

I don’t comment on this frivolously, but from the standpoint of someone who has contemplated it, thought about the letters I would need to write, to whom, and stood at the level crossing waiting for the speeding train.

It’s not news that my marriage broke down and that my Dad died, or that work has weighed so heavily on me that it has caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but what you may not realise is that I wanted to not be here anymore.

I wanted the pain of all those things to stop. I wanted the tears to subside, I wanted the pain in my chest to go, I wanted to be anywhere but here.

As the trains rushed by I thought, “two more steps and the pain ends, nothing will hurt anymore”, (apart from the impact of the speeding South West train).

But I didn’t. I stopped. Why? Because of the pain I would cause to my mother, my friends, and I didn’t want to be responsible for that pain, no matter how bad I was feeling.

I was lucky enough that these thoughts stopped me taking those few steps to oblivion, but the feelings of not wanting to be here and wanting the pain to end still engulf me on an all too regular basis.

But, now I have chosen to talk about it, make my friends and family aware so that I can turn to them when those feelings become overwhelming.

Suicide is an awful thing for all involved, but the stigma attached to poor mental health means that people can’t always talk about it and that means when someone is in crisis it just keeps spiralling until, in the worst case scenario, you see no other way out other than to take your own life.

One of my overriding reasons for sharing my thoughts and my own journey is to try and break down some of these taboos and to let people know that they are not alone.

I have no qualifications to speak of on this subject other than my own experiences and feelings, but by reaching out I hope to help people either understand more or to at least try to understand.

I am far from well, and I have no doubt that dark thoughts will descend in the future, but I’m trying all I can to embrace my treatment and do what I can to cope and hopefully get better.

Talking helps, but sometimes we need someone to help start that conversation.

Hopefully I can help do that.

Just a little broken..

Its 4.55 am and the alarm goes off, I hit the snooze button, but I don’t move.

It’s the 25th of April 2018 and it’s a bad day.

In the last couple of years I’ve had bad days, my relationship broke down, my dad died suddenly and work has been hell, but I’ve always managed to get up and get on.

Today I can’t.

I can’t get up.

I don’t want to get up.

And that’s a problem.

I go back to sleep, I say sleep, I dozed on and off for the next few hours dreaming about death, work, my dad, my wife, restless and fitful.

I lay on my back looking at the ceiling and I know I have to move, know I need to dress, get out of the house and eat, all the things I know I should do when I have a “Bad” day.

I eventually got up and headed off on my motorbike to try and clear my head.

I ate, (too much), and returned home.

I put on my trainers and went out for a run.

6km plodding along the Thames towpath, trying to get certain thoughts out of my head.

When I got back I sat down.

Nothing had changed.

I felt exactly as I had done when I woke, nothing had worked.

I couldn’t fix me.

I needed help.

Fast forward 36 hours and I’m sat with my doctor crying and explaining to my GP how hopeless I was feeling.

Scoring highly on their tests for depression and anxiety I was immediately referred to my local mental health team for further assessment.

But that wasn’t the end of that day, I still had to speak to my boss.

I am a Police Officer who has been in the “Job” for 22 years. I have seen a lot in that time and never before have I felt like this. Why now.

The GP had suggested that I was suffering with PTSD, exacerbate by personal loss and now I needed to say all of this to my boss, who is an active army reservist major who had seen active service in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I felt a fraud telling a soldier that I was suffering with PTSD and couldn’t cope, but he was really supportive and told me that we would work through this.

What has followed since is a lot of assessment with psychiatrists and counsellors with a view to a treatment plan being put in place.

All being well I should come through this, but the timescale for this is uncertain.

I put my hand up and asked for help because I recognised that I had gotten to breaking point, but that doesn’t mean that I can think rationally.

The feeling of guilt for not being able to cope and for letting down my family, my friends, work colleagues and managers is huge.

The feeling of fogginess of thought is something I have never experienced, (unless I was hungover), but my ability to process things quickly has diminished.

My thought processes take longer, I take the long route to everything. I get there eventually, but it takes time.

I have been placed on non operational duties because of this and that means I can’t do my previous job and that is something else to cause me anxiety.

So as you can see it can be a vicious circle with no answer or end seemingly in sight.

Whilst I am not unique this is a unique feeling for me.

The world is changing regarding the poor attitudes and stigma attached to mental health, but it’s still there.

A lot of this paranoia may be in my head – Men shouldn’t feel like this, Police Officers shouldn’t feel like this, but those feelings are so very real to me.

Has having reached out meant people look at me differently? Do my peers think less of me? Have I committed career suicide?

All of these thoughts go round in my head because I spoke up.

I can hear people saying, “it’s not like that” or “No of course not”, but the reality and what’s going on inside my head can be poles apart, add to that my personal losses and the impact from my work means that I need help.

And I am getting help.

The NHS have been proactive, my employers have been supportive, but I’m keen to be well sooner rather than later, and no time frame can be put on this.

You break a leg you’re in a cast for 6 weeks and then you do your rehab. You can see what’s wrong and it has a, (generally), finite time for the healing process.

I look in the mirror and can’t see what’s broken, no one can, and what is worse is that I have no timetable for when I’ll see Simon again.

I’m engaging with all of the support I have mentioned above, I want to be well, but I don’t know when I will see me again, rather than the broken, sad, exhausted person I have become.

This is my story, but my story isn’t over.

If you’re in despair reach out.

If family or friends aren’t an option please consider some of the following

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/helplines.htm

https://www.samaritans.org/

https://www.mind.org.uk/

BSD Update – initial phase done, time to tinker

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last updated you on my Blood Sugar Diet reload, so here it is.

I finished my initial three weeks of limited calories and carbs – and I was really pleased with how it went.

By the end of these three weeks I had managed to bring my daily blood glucose levels to between 5 and 6.5 mmol/L, (well within the normal range), I had dropped body fat, gained muscle and most importantly of all I had dropped my visceral fat by 3% – something that is essential when maintaining good diabetes control.

But that wasn’t enough. I knew that I could get to this place through the Blood Sugar Diet, but how could I more easily sustain these levels?

As I said previously, one of the biggest differences this time was not only was I better prepared mentally for the challenge, (knowing what food to eat, the best balance of protein, fat and carbs), but I also maintained, as best I could, my normal training regime.

This, along with ensuring I was hydrated with at least 3 litres of water plus teas and coffees a day, meant that I was able to achieve my goals in the short term, but what was going to be the balance going forward? How was I going to maintain my levels once I started to reintroduce things like carbs and alcohol?

At the end of my regime last year I threw myself headlong back into all of these, which in hindsight was a mistake.

My body wasn’t ready.

My head wasn’t ready

Most important of all, my diabetes wasn’t ready, so this time I was going to be more calculated.

Whilst I have been on a couple of nights out and have had alcohol for the first time in weeks, on the days before and after I have continued restricting my calorie and carb intake, trying to keep somewhere between 1000 and 1500 calories a day.

This week’s figures;

Weight: 78.5kgs (down 6.8kgs)

Body fat %: 19.3 (down 4.1%)

Muscle %: 39.2 (up 2.3%)

Visceral fat %: 9 (down 3%)

N.B

My body fat and muscle can fluctuate a couple of %, especially after exercise, but my visceral fat measurement is consistent, so I’m really happy with that going in the right direction.

At the minute my blood glucose levels are mostly stable, but I still seem to have little spikes that come from out of nowhere. This could be my liver dumping glycated blood if it thinks my reserves are getting depleted, especially if I’ve been fasting and training or is it something else that I haven’t yet considered?

I’m still in the tinkering zone and haven’t quite found the right balance, but I’ll get there – hopefully.

As always I’ll look to keep you updated on how I’m getting on and if nothing else help to show that low cal and low carb doesn’t have to mean boring or tasteless.

Thanks for all your ongoing support, without it I would have fallen at the first hurdle.

Si

Week two – Getting there.

This week on the Blood Sugar Diet has been tough.

Whilst all of my figures have been going in the right direction I have felt somewhat weak.

As I said in my last post, I have maintained my previous training regime whilst working on my diabetes and calorific intake, and I’ve really been feeling it in my legs.

I think I’ve maintained my effort levels, but I have certainly been left feeling particularly empty afterwards.

I’ve also struggled with food motivation this week. I’ve made a few tasty dishes, cauliflower has been a favourite of mine this week, but I’ve also taken a few shortcuts with pre made soups and packets of chicken slices – not ideal, but acceptable.

Mushroom Stroganoff

Roasted sprouts, butternut squash, cauliflower and fried, smoked tofu

Chicken broth with fried bacon.

I’ve managed to maintain my 8-900 calories, but it’s been a challenge.

Saturday night was a slight blip.

A friend of mine made a delicious fish soup with salmon, squid, cod cheeks and prawns. It was truly delicious and under normal circumstances a perfectly healthy meal, but I ate far too much of it and blew my 800 calorie allowance out of the water by a huge 400 or so calories.

BUT, whilst last year this would have sent me into a complete spin, this time around I enjoyed the healthy meal and just kept to a strict 800 calories on Sunday, (and included some running, walking and a core circuit).

I have learned to give myself a break, to reset and start again the following day, at the end of the day this is about a healthy balance not an inflexible regime.

On that note I would like to reiterate why I’m doing this.

This is not a January detox, nor is this some sort of fad diet to lose weight quickly.

The Blood Sugar Diet by doctor Michael Mosley is about resetting your body and is aimed at those who are pre diabetic or who have type two diabetes.

By restricting your calories and the type of foods you eat (low carb) for a set period, you will drop dangerous visceral fat and your organs can start communicating again, and for me, someone with type 2 Diabetes, this is the key to efficiently use the sugars that your body naturally creates from processing food.

Before I started this journey a year ago I was a happy and fairly fit fat lad, now I’m fitter and more importantly healthier and it was the healthier part that I needed to work on.

My revisiting this diet was to get blood sugar levels back in check after a period of excess that had done me no good and to keep learning about my relationship with food and how I can sustain a healthy balance going forward.

This week’s figures:

WeIght – 80.1 kgs

Body Fat % – 22.2

Muscle % – 37.6

Visceral Fat % – 10

Morning blood glucose level –

6.0 mmol/L

Everything is going down, with the two significant figures being the visceral fat and my morning BG levels.

As I move into the final week of this phase I have to tackle days out of the office and a road trip, but, I’ll use what I’ve already learned to keep on track and push through to Friday maintaining my 8-900 calories a day and 3-4 litres of water.

Wish me luck

Si

End of week one – BSD Reload

Here I am at the end of my first week revisiting the blood sugar diet and I’m really happy with how it’s gone.

My blood glucose levels have gone down, my vision is clearer, I’m sleeping much better and I managed to drop a couple of kilos.

But it’s not all been plain sailing.

I made the mistake of not taking my own lunch to a work conference on Friday and ended up having to plump for the lesser of two evils when it came to the lunch options and ate the vegetarian wraps.

Previously this would have sent me into a little bit of a melt down, but at the end of the day I needed to eat.

This was the only real deviation from my plan; I have been craving cheese and fried chicken – but this is to do with me being a cheese addict and my instagram feed being full of succulent fried chook all week

Over all I’m really pleased with the way things have gone, but I still need to find that balance between what I eat, when I eat and how much water I drink to keep my blood glucose levels in check.

I said last week that I was convinced that the thing that would make the biggest difference would be the amount of water I drank.

This week when I have drunk a minimum of 3 litres of water, (plus my daily coffees and teas), my figures have dropped to normal levels.

On Saturday when I checked my blood glucose they were slightly elevated, but I realised I hadn’t had anything other than a couple of coffees. I mainlined about 1.5 litres of water and after and hour rechecked myself. My readings were now within the normal range.

With this in mind my aim this coming week will be to do a minimum of 1 litre of water before my first check and try to get through a total of 3 -4 litres of water a day and see how this effects my results.

Unlike the first week of my challenge last year, this week I have trained every day, doing a mixture of core and hiit circuits.

These exercises are all completed in a set amount of time, controlling the periods of exertion and rest.

As promised here are the routines that I did, take a look, and if you fancy having a go let me know how you get on.

HIIT Cardio Circuit:

Drop squats

Superman (or any) Press ups

Mountain climbers / plyo jumps

Planche hold

Dumb bell snatch

V sit ups / cross over crunches

Standing sprints

20 seconds on / 10 seconds rest

6 rounds

Core Circuit:

Flutter kicks

Boat pose

Superman’s – left side

Superman’s – right side

Walk outs with press ups

V sit ups

30 seconds on / 10 seconds rest

4 rounds

And so to the figures

Weight – 81.7kgs

Body Fat % – 23.1

Muscle % – 37.1

Visceral fat % – 11

Whilst my weight has gone down, my trousers already feel a little looser, my body fat and muscle have fluctuated a little, (both seem to deviate by about 2% every few days and I wonder if this is also down to hydration?) The biggest achievement is the reduction in the visceral fat.

This is the fat that surrounds your organs and stops them effectively communicating, which for a diabetic, is essential, so to already see that drop is brilliant.

Now on to week two and to see if I can stabilise all my figures, stay hydrated and most of all, eat some tasty, low calorie, low carb food.

Wish me luck

Back to the drawing board.., ish

This week marks a year since I started the Blood Sugar Diet.

For those who are unaware of this particular diet it is a low calorie, low carb diet aimed at assisting diabetics and pre diabetics in gaining control over their condition.

( check here for more information https://thebloodsugardiet.com/how-it-works/ )

This is not a fad diet from some celebrity aimed at losing weight fast, but is in fact a diet about healing yourself in a sustainable way, through fasting, reducing your carb in take and exercise, allowing your organs to work efficiently and effectively.

When I started my journey a year ago I was on 10 pills a day, weighed 96 kilos, had an HbA1c of over 7 mmol/L (53 in new units), and was on a one-way ticket to insulin dependency and probably an early grave.

After two months on the blood sugar diet I had managed to lose 15 kilos, reduced my medication to 5 tablets a day and when I went for my 6 monthly check up had reduced my blood glucose to normal levels (5.3 mmol/L – 35).

This was amazing. I felt healthier than ever, fitter, and my goal of hopefully living a little longer could become a reality.

Slowly I reintroduced some carbs, things like sourdough bread, some potatoes, but mostly I stuck to the maintenance ethos of the low carb, Mediterranean style diet .

I had managed to keep off most of the weight, but I had noticed my blood glucose levels starting to creep back up.

Also December happened.

I had been stupidly reckless.

Eating and drinking what I wanted and slowly the weight had started creeping up along with my blood sugars and I was starting to feel it.

I was irritable, wasn’t sleeping properly and the extra weight was being felt in my joints, knees and hips which were aching post exercise.

I needed to redress the balance and soon

So here I am, a year on, and I will be revisiting the regime for one month as a minimum.

I will be avoiding simple carbs, (no bread, potatoes or white rice), I will be sticking to the 800 – 1000 calorie a day target AND I will be avoiding alcohol.

Here I want to mention the two things that I believe have the biggest impact on me, Alcohol and Water.

Whilst I try to stick to low calorie drinks, (gin and slimline tonic), I found myself not drinking enough water.

At the peak of the BSD I was drinking 4 litres of water a day, and whilst what goes in must come out, it helped me not only maintain my blood glucose levels, it also helped keep my hunger at bay.

Today I stand before you weighing in at 85.3 kilos, with an HbA1c of 42, (6 mmol/L in old money and still good).

Visceral fat – 12%

Fat – 23.4%

Muscle – 36.9%

These are not good figures, not good for me as a diabetic at all.

My aim is to bring that HbA1c back down to about 35, to reduce my weight by around 5 kilos and to maintain that through the rest of the year and beyond.

As before I will update you weekly with my weigh in and progress on my blog and instagram – including the before and after photos, and the inevitable bumps in the road.

N.B

This is not being done because I want to lose weight. This is not being done just because it’s January.

I am doing this because I need to keep my diabetes in check and I want to live longer.

This is a constant struggle for me, I love to eat, I love to drink, I thought I could balance it easily, clearly I can’t, so I need to work a little harder to find the happy meeting point of the diabetic and the glutton.

Wish me luck

Si

My names Simon, and I’m a cheese addict

So, to recap.I did 8 weeks on the Blood Sugar Diet to help reset my body so that I could more effectively deal with my type 2 diabetes.

This was a low calorie, low carb regime that helped me lose weight, more importantly lose visceral fat and even more importantly, enabled me to reduce the medications I take for my diabetes.

I finished this phase nearly two months ago and have tried to maintain my physical and chemical state through a variation of the Fast Diet.

The Fast Diet, or the 5:2 as it is more commonly referred to, consists of a restricted calorific intake of only 600 hundred calories, (this is for men and 400 for women), for two days a week, whilst, (technically), being able to eat what you want for the remaining five days.

After a couple of weeks on this regime I found that whilst my weight was ok, fluctuating up and down by about 1 kilo, my blood sugars became more erratic.

I upped my training and felt physically fitter and stronger, but my blood sugars were still not responding and this was beginning to concern me.

As the weeks progressed I tried to mix up the regime. I fasted for consecutive days, I fasted for more days and then I tried to restrict my daily calories to between 800 and 1200 a day for five out of seven days, but still my blood sugars were not responding.

What the f#*k was going on?

I was starting to become frustrated and disappointed in myself. All my hard work was starting to unravel.

I hadn’t completely embraced carbs, although the odd slice of toast had snuck in with my breakfasts, but it wasn’t until I analysed what I had been eating that I realised that I had become a total cheese monster.

Blue cheese, goats cheese, pecorino, manchego and copious amounts of fabulously strong Cheddar.

I had gone cheese crazy and to make things worse my visceral fat had started to sneak up.

When I looked at what I had reintroduced into my diet this was the one thing that I had eaten to excess – and now the thing I probably needed to cut out entirely.

I needed to do something, and do that something FAST.

So here I am, being honest with myself, being honest with you.

My name is Simon and I am a cheese addict.

Cheese – my nemesis

Whilst cheese can contribute to the ‘good’ fats within your diet, it’s all a matter of volume.

100g of Cheddar cheese is made up of 75% fat, 24% protein and only 1% carbs.

Definitely low carb, but when you reflect that this is also over 400 calories you start to see where my problem is.

Even if you decline the accompanying biscuits, pickles or jellies and plump for the delicious walnuts and grapes the whole thing starts to spiral out of control, well, for this diabetic it does anyway.

So back onto the wagon I go.

I have some short-term obstacles to deal with, most notably a four day trip to Lisbon, but I hereby declare my intention to restrict my calories for five days a week and to share my results with you here and across my other social media accounts so that I can hopefully get my diabetes control back on track.

Wish me luck

Si

Week 8 – The End?

They say nothing that is worthwhile having comes easy. I can attest to that. Two months, or if you you look at it another way, eight weeks or 56 days or 1,344 hours or (give or take), 44,800 calories, whichever way I calculate the time, it has been one hell of a journey.

Just in case there is someone stumbling across my blog and wondering what the hell I’m doing here is a little recap.
8 weeks ago I started the Blood Sugar Diet, created by Dr Michael Mosley. This is a low calorie, low carb diet aimed at losing losing, (most importantly visceral fat), with a goal of reprogramming the body of those who are pre-diabetic in danger of becoming type 2 diabetic and those who are already a type 2 diabetic.
I’ve over simplified somewhat, but this link will take you to more information –

https://thebloodsugardiet.com/

Those who know me know how much I love my food. Hell, I’m one of those bloody food bloggers after all, but what many didn’t know was that I was also a T2 diabetic.
Whilst I wasn’t unfit, I wasn’t healthy, (and this will be explored in my supplementary post).

I am 5’08”, I was 96kgs – that was 15 st 2 lbs in old money, and it was killing me.

I am a T2 diabetic who was being told by my diabeticians that I would eventually need to be on insulin to manage my diabetes, taking 11 pills a day, at risk of heart and liver disease and to cap it all my Dad had died of a massive heart attack.
Things weren’t looking great.

So after being sent a piece on the Blood Sugar Diet by my friend I decided to take the plunge.
For those who have kept an eye on my journey you will have seen the highs and lows of the last 8 weeks. My melt down at not knowing how to choose something in a restaurant or the discovery of how good and satisfying a teaspoon of peanut butter can be.
I won’t sugar coat it. It’s been tough. An emotional roller coaster at times and I have most certainly wanted to give up at many stages and have a burger – but I didn’t.

What kept me going was a number of factors.

Reducing my meds – I’m now taking 5 a day rather than 11.

Seeing my visceral fat go down – I’ve reduced this by over 25% in 8 weeks.

The desire to live longer – diabetics generally die 10 years younger than non diabetics

And YOU LOT.

I’ve spoken of the support I’ve had during my journey, but without it I couldn’t have achieved what I have so far.
Friends, family, food heroes and strangers alike have all been there for me, encouraging, willing me on. For that unwavering support I thank you from the bottom of my, (healthier), heart.

There are too many to name individually, but you know who you are.

It’s been a, (wanky term alert), a journey of self discovery too.
Finding out more about my strengths, and even more about my weaknesses.

Learning how my emotions are inextricably linked to my eating habits – good and bad.

I have been happy, I have been sad, I have been depressed, I have been euphoric. I have laid myself bare, and when I’ve been a total arse you’ve forgiven me.

Thank you again for that.

So to the figures.
When I started this I weighed 96kgs, my body fat was at 28.1% with my visceral fat 15%, my muscle mass was 34.2% and I was taking 11 pills of prescription meds daily.

Today I am 81.7 kgs, my body fat is 22.4%, my visceral fat is 11%, my muscle mass is 37.5% and I am taking less than half the meds I was at the beginning.



This is life changing, but it’s also only the beginning.

The next phase is the 5:2 – “Fast Diet”, also advocated by Dr Mosley, where I will be fasting for two days a week, restricting my calorific intake to about 600 calories on those days, whilst still watching. What I eat for the remaining 5 days of the week.

I’ll continue to write about my journey and let you all know how I get on when I go back to see my Doctor at the end of April.

So thank you once again for reading, commenting and supporting me.

Simon